Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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