I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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