So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
