I am puke
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
