On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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