I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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