Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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