Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
