just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
