I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
