Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
