I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize