she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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