...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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