It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize