lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
