You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
