Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
