I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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