What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
