Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
