im gay
i know
yea but for you.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
