and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize