I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
