I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
