how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
