Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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