I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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