Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
