Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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