Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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