ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
