Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
