We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The air was thick with penises
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
