I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
