Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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