I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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