I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
