you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Randomize
