I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm like, not good at living.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
