I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
