is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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