You really coming over, don't trick.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
