Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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