why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
