Don't you send me to vm
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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