Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize