But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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