I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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