The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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