everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
