I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
