just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
