fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
