i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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