SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
