It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize