Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
