on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
