Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
