Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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