I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
