He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
