I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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