If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
